WiredThinking

We as people seem to let flippin stupid things limit and or define us. Like our race, social standing, financial position, environment.

I for one want nothing to do with that way of being. I observe people doing certain things they do, acting certain ways they act, listening to certain things they listen to, and even talking certain ways they talk, because its “how they’re supposed to be” or sometimes even how they aren’t, but how they wanna be. Sometimes people are even afraid to improve their way of being because the way they think they’re supposed to be doesn’t allow for them to change for the better.
Whether those “how I’m supposed to be”/”how I wanna be” mindsets are based on one’s race or one’s financial position or anything else —it’s pure foolishness.

Why should we allow stereotypes, and social “norms” to define who we are supposed to be as individuals? It’s past time for us to not be afraid to be our own people and not let racial stereotypes and messed up expectations and “norms” define who we are or who we become.

One’s skin color in and of itself can’t define one unless one lets it. Where one lives cannot define one unless one lets it. Even what you listen to/the way you’ve grown up talking cannot define you unless you let it. While I don’t deny those factors will impact your life, it comes down to you deciding what your values and character are going to be, that will truly define you.

For example, why the heck should I, my own person, Joylene Andrea Hunter, speak primarily in ebonics (slang talk) that is soo associated with the black culture? That wasn’t primarily what I was surrounded with as a child and so that’s not the way I’ve grown up talking. So even though I can honestly say that I have the ability to speak mainly in ebonics, and could change the way I speak quite easily at this point, I choose to speak the way I speak, and sound the way I sound.
If someone else speaks a lot in ebonics, that’s his/her perrogative, but they don’t have to speak that way if they don’t want to.
I’m not defined by the way I speak or where I come from and neither are they, and I absolutely hate it when people try to limit me or others to those ridiculously outdated stereotypes and “norms”.

Another interesting question I sometimes ask people, is… How the heck do you “act” a color?” Someone may say to me, “Girl you need to act more black”. Or “Why you wearing that preppy, ‘white people’s clothing?’”or even “You’re soo proper.” But when it comes right down to it, last I checked to be a strong black woman or a strong woman of any race, you don’t have to fit into the mold of woman for that race.
I don’t have to fit into the stereotypes of being a loud, attitude-bearing, outspoken black chick. I definitely don’t say that to say there’s anything wrong with black girls who are like that, b/c there are different types of people in every race and sex, and regardless of those factors, none of us are defined by those things. There is beauty in diversity, even within a race. It’s ok to be different from the majority of people in your race.

The same kinds of things are said to some white people “Why you dressing like a wanna be gangsta?” or “Why do you listen to rap?” or “Why are you talking “like a black person?”—>(which is such an erroneous statement I must say again). Again the same principle applies, if a white person talks or dresses a certain way, or listens to certain music, that’s his/her perrogative when it comes right down to it. That shouldn’t define who he/she is as a person.
I’m also tired of the term “wigger”. Not only do I find that terminology to be offensive…but it’s also downright s-t-u-p-i-d. It’s really just adding a w to the N word. Sure, a white person may conform to the behavior/way of talking that many black exhibit…but that doesn’t necessarily make it a negative thing.

It’s also extremely ridiculous and offensive when people use the N-word. Especially when black people use it. Black people using the term shows ignorance and disregard for what our ancestors went thru. It doesn’t make the term any more acceptable or any more positive. There really is nothing positive about that term. In and of itself, the word is not bad…it is the things associated with that word. I’d encourage everyone, regardless of your race, to watch Kunta Kinte. If that doesn’t open up your eyes as to how negative the term is, I dont know what will.

Even today, when one says it (regardless of one’s race), one cannot honestly say it leaves them feeling good or accomplished…it’s just flat out idiotic.
It also gives people of other races the impression that it’s ok to use that word. Some even say stuff like, “They call themselves the N-word…so why can’t we?”. And that is ridiculous as well. Just because people are displaying ignorance and foolishness…doesn’t mean everyone else should do the same b/c it “seems ok”. Two wrongs still don’t make something more right or acceptable.

As people, we need to realize race, background, certain terminologies, and “norms” don’t define us in and of themselves — unless we allow them to.
It’s one’s spiritual, mental, social, even emotional upbringing, one’s values, one’s experiences and reactions to those experiences, and one’s character that defines one, ultimately. And those things can be changed for the better/worked on.

For example, the ways one talks and or acts naturally can typically be traced back to how they were raised, things they may have experienced/listened to, and the people they grew up around. Of course some behavior is learned and even the way someone talks can be learned…but even then it doesn’t define anyone.